When I was young, the statement “mind your own beeswax” was made by other kids to tell you to go away and not bug them. My presence at that time seemed to bother others, especially my siblings.
Looking back, it may have come from over-responsibility, as I took care of the younger ones, babysitting them a good deal of the time. That alone wasn’t the issue.
Life would be easier if they had just done what they were told! I was eleven at the time. I became bossy, over-bearing and controlling trying to fix them as if they were broken. I thought we were all broken.
My control and judgement characteristics developed at that time of my life. Feeling less than others was never being, acting, or doing enough to please my parents.
It was easier to mind other people’s business than my own. I would never hit the mark of perfection which would feel like acceptance, so I focused outwardly.
Learning much later that perfection is a goal no human could or would reach, I found progress no matter how small, was definitely achievable.
First learning to mind my own business had to be worked on. When I stopped judging myself harshly I stopped judging others harshly as well. It still took time before this became manageable. “Progress not Perfection” was my mantra for years.
Personal growth became my primary aim, alongside growing my business. I was too busy to focus on others. I’ll became someone who was open to the adversity of the human experience.
The more comfortable I became in my personal acceptance, the more I was fascinated with the human mind and development.
We are all striving in some way. Gratefully, I wasn’t alone in this effort.
I eventually went into a profession that supported growth to use these new skills and gifts that enhanced previously developed ones.
Supporting others who want to make a change is gratifying as they choose what to work on. I acknowledge where they are then asking questions that only they have the answers to.
People show me who they are openly and I honour that trust me not to judge and keep confidences.
Nobody could possibly share everything about themselves, as it would take forever. Compassionately, I can put myself in their shoes and be open.
Treating others with kindness, gentleness, love, dignity, and respect is the same way I treat myself today.
Laughing at my imperfections is easy and shows others it’s okay to laugh, too. Can you laugh at yourself? It is your business!
Author: Tammy Rowland