Who’s driving your car?
You know how it works, you are a passenger in the car beside your spouse, family member or friend and you give unsolicited directions. “Turn at the next corner, it’s shorter.” “How come you don’t change lanes?” “Slow down! (to a crawl) – I am nervous when you ( not me) drive.”
It wasn’t that many months ago that it occurred to me after the words slipped quickly from my lips, that I may be not only trying to control my “beloved” but actually replacing his intuition, gut feeling or Higher Power. (Not well, I might add.) While driving down the road heading to the mall, there are a couple of routes about the same length of time to get there as well as other scenic routes that could be taken. When I get into the car, I know where I am heading and then auto-pilot kicks in. Not the unconscious driving that leaves me wondering how I got there, but the follow your gut change lanes take the second entry to the mall and nobody is in the way, leading to the best parking spot in the lot. These gut directions I believe are like subliminal messages –intuition. I am quite connected to it when I drive, looking for parking spots and all kinds of everyday things, and I think they may keep me from getting stuck in traffic or maybe away from an accident.
One day I was driving with my son coming out of a parking lot. There are several exits out of this lot and I saw a car at one so passed that exit. The next exit seemed okay but as I pulled up to it the traffic got very busy and I missed a light completely. Did I say that I was in a hurry? At that moment I looked at my son and screamed “ARRGH!”I was irritated, annoyed, frustrated and maybe a bit foolish. I waited for the traffic to clear and it did on 3 of the four lanes. A line formed in the curb lane and the last car stopped right in from of me blocking me from exiting to the 3 clear lanes. I needed to cross all 4 lanes of traffic so that I could turn left to go down another road. I was forced to wait. At this moment I again looked at my son and started to laugh. I know that I was NOT supposed to be out there on the road before I got there. I was not tuned in earlier but once I was- I was. I get that there is a reason for me being stuck in that lot, but if I had someone beside me saying “why didn’t you take the next exit instead of getting stuck here?” I would not have connected to my gut.
Back to my “beloved”, I told him that I was no longer going to be his GPS unless he asked. He laughed as he did not believe me. UNTIL – one day we were heading down the highway on our way somewhere and I thought he knew where he was going as he did not ask for directions. When he did, we had just passed the exit to get there. He was irritated that I did not tell him in advance. I mentioned that maybe he knew another way that I did not know then reminded him that I wasn’t driving the car. He did not ask for my help so I did not know he wanted it. He looked at me for a moment then laughed. This happened several times in a couple of weeks and he now asks more readily when he wants directions. I shared with him my thoughts on my personal GPS (intuition) and I really have been able to leave it turned off when I am not behind the wheel – most of the time, anyway. Progress not perfection!
Are you having issues of control? Jot me a line and I‘ll be happy to give you a free laser coaching session.