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Are you good enough?

Good enoughI just want to start by saying (with not much humility) I just completed several exams where my abilities were assessed by Master Certified Coaches as “good enough” to receive my PCC or Professional Certified Coach for the ICF otherwise know as the International Coach Federation, the first and largest Association of Coaches worldwide!

This is a HUGE achievement for any coach and most don’t do it because it is scary!  There are 3 levels of certification, ACC Associate Certified Coach (150+ hrs client coaching), PCC Professional Certified Coach (750+hrs) and MCC Master Certified Coach (2500+hrs).
Certification is about both hours spent coaching and the skill levels of 9 competences including Ethics which is the written component of the exam. I have coached over 750 hours, with more than 75% paid for and I had to coach first a client with 2 Amazing and Experienced Coaches listening in then I had to coach one of them while the other listened in. It was really stressful just thinking about it!
I realized that the stress came from knowing I would be judged. I come from a family where this was like breathing, I was a master myself at one time. Judgement makes us to feel less than, always. I have worked on eliminating this character trait for years with much success. I work hard not to judge others and not react to the judgements made of me.

This exam triggered an old self-limiting belief of “am I good enough”? It started with questioning myself if I really wanted this designation. From the time I started taking coaching courses, of which I have received certification from three. I had always wanted PROOF– it would be the degree I never received.

It only took a couple of hours to find that courageous woman inside and remind her she was indeed good enough. I took the Ethics exam first and passed! It was the beginning of the end. Then the second and third parts were to be done within the week, back to back, during a time I was at an event with many other coaches and friends.

With only an hour before the exam I could barely breathe so I reached out to my Mentor Coach where I took The Professional Leadership Coach Training (best program for coaches), who asked me if Max (my dog) could use a walk. “Always!” was the answer and off we went.

On this fresh air walk and sniff (the sniffing was Max) I recalled a conversation I had with a long time client earlier in the week. It was about how each of us defines “good enough”. Perfectionists have a difficult time with this as good enough is not perfect and they never or rarely hit. I have been told it is their personal HELL.

Each of us has an opportunity to look at our translation of “good enough” but also to redesign it. In the FREE Dictionary online it means “adequately good for the circumstances.” What is wrong with that! More than that is a waste of time and energy that could be put to use elsewhere, don’t you think? Better is unnecessary.

If you think about whether YOU are “good enough” as a human being, which is where we go when we can be triggered by an old belief, how well do you measure up? My guess is you fail miserably.  That is how I felt and some of my clients, too!

What if what you do and who you are, given the set of circumstances and experiences and the current situation, how you show up right now is truly “good enough”? It could be as good as, better, or worse than yesterday or tomorrow, but it is your best at this moment. How would that feel? How would you experience this moment in that context? Is there room in your current experience for this shift?

We were not likely told that what we did or who we were was good enough. Many of us heard things like; you can do better, try harder, thats not good enough. You could study harder, eat better or work harder and be more focused. Does any of this sound familiar? You may even be saying it to yourself! I believe someone else installed those beliefs some time ago. NEGATIVE NELLY is the name I fondly give my internal critic and nay-sayer. Gratefully, I recognize her and can still be courageous. Occasionally she shows up to sabotage my current desires and wants like my PCC. HA!

I coached a gracious client on a conference call line for twenty minutes then she left and five minutes later I was coaching one of the 2 examiners for an additional 20 minutes. I know I did the best I could at the time. Then I waited a short time while I regulated my breathing and heartbeat and made a cup of tea. My husband was close at hand to talk while I waited.

In less than 2 hours, I received a call from my Mentor Coach Cynthia Calluori, who told me that I passed! I was ecstatic and definitely on Cloud 9 or 99, who knows but I was proud of myself. I was afraid and did it anyway. I know the best I could do was my best that day, whatever that was to be. Was I perfect? Nope! As a matter of fact I made some of the same mistakes I made on another certification last year. What I do know is that I was and always will be “good enough!”

Please leave a comment about what GOOD ENOUGH means to you or the shift this may have made for you. I am interested and love supporting you.

With Love and Care, Tam

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4 Comments
  1. Sharon Belley April 30, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Hi Tammy…#1…love your website and particularly this article….when we spoke on the phone I had not been to your site, only linkedin. The photos on your site are great, by the way.

    #2. I want to tell you why I love this article. In October, I went on a trip by myself to San Francisco
    …well not totally by myself, my son was with me, but he
    was totally involved with a conference for the four days we were there. I knew this beforehand and was excited about being able to spend those days doing nothing but photography, which is a passion I have. I had not had a holiday in seven years, so it was totally ‘me’ time.

    The second day I was there I decided to buy a new lens for my camera. In the camera store, I mentioned that I had seen
    a very long tunnel under a highway overpass as I walked to
    their camera store, and I wanted to know what was on the other side. The owner said it was the old ‘China Town’, I
    and that I was in the new ‘China Town’. I suddenly wanted to go there, badly. This man then told me not to go there, very strongly. You are a woman alone with an expensive camera hanging around your neck and it is a very long, very dark tunnel. Do not go there, you could be mugged. Women alone don’t go there. I thanked him for letting me know, and disappointed I decided to at least walk by it again. I have never been a person to take risks in anything other than business. I truly felt reprimanded for
    even wanting to go to the other side. As I tried to let go
    of not wanting to go to that part of the city, something came over me that I had never in my life ever experienced before and that was a feeling of …yes, I am totally scared to do it, but I am going to anyway…and if someone tries to mug me, he better be a lot bigger than me because I am going to use my camera as a weapon and fight him!!! I guess you could say I discovered the courageous woman inside me, just as you did in your article. I walked about one quarter of the way through the tunnel taking photos of a bus passing through, and I saw a man directly
    ahead of me just standing still ahead of me. I figured
    this was it….he wanted my camera or my money. Do I turn around and run? Damn it, no. I kept on walking toward him,
    with my whole body stressed with fear. When I got about
    100 steps in front of him…he yelled to me, lady I don’t
    want to ruin your photo…so I yelled back, then smile, and he did…and I walked right past him smiling all the way to the other side. I now embrace that woman inside of me and feel that I am not only good enough, it is making me feel much stronger…so lets say I feel good and strong
    these days after looking at fear right in the eyes!

    Thanks Tammy…I am pretty sure you can relate to this.

    Sharon
    strong…so now I am good and strong!

  2. Tammy Rowland April 30, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    Thank you so much for your comment, Sharon. I am thrilled to both read and repost it to my site. There is something about seeing then BEing that courageous person inside that is so empowering. I am pleased to get to know you more through this post.
    With love and great respect, Tam

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    • Tammy Rowland August 28, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you have signed up to receive them regularly. Enjoy!

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